03 June 2005

A Small Sample of Life

I eat, live and breathe R.O.S.E.

Yes, the R.O.S.E blog is even updated a whole lot more frequently than this one. Currently, my life = R.O.S.E, and I occassionally return to real life only for friends and bills.

Yet, even in the virtual world of R.O.S.E, I get painful reminders of real life.

There was once where I talked to a Singaporean whose name was Eusoff in-game. We were chatting about the game at first, and he seemed like a nice person. And of course, after finding out I was from the same country, he had to ask me for my age, sex, and location.

Now, I don't like prying questions, especially from someone I've barely talked to for 15 minutes. Also, I like my privacy, and like everyone else, I have my own secrets to hide.

And so, how did I answer him?

I said I was bisexual. I wanted to see his response; to gauge what kind of person he was. I believe a person's attitude towards less socially accepted sexual orientations would tell me something about that person.

And boy, did I get more than I expected.

He started hurling insults at me. Any way I look at it, that was the only word for the things he said: Insults. Insults that were stereotypical views of the anti-gay or homophobic.

The funny thing was, he didn't seem to grasp the difference between being gay and being bisexual, no matter that I typed it two times, three times, and more. But that was about the only thing that was funny about the conversation once it went downhill.

I am aware of GLBT prejudices. I know too of the social problems faced by GLBTs. But maybe, because I've been living in such a cocoon/circle of pro-gay friends and seemingly neutral surroundings, those prejudices/problems were far from me and less personal.

Until dear Eusoff gave me a blunt, crude, in-your-face wake-up call.

And it hurt. It hurt to be reminded of reality. It hurt to know and to experience a little of what some gay folks out there get. And I'm only talking about an on-line encounter here, not even a real life encounter. I cannot imagine what it must be like to hear that senseless hatred in person, and to have to look at a face filled with loathing to match the voice.

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. The bottom of it? Violence, bloodshed, even lives lost.

Well, what else is there to say? I've rambled a little, and yet, I might as well have said nothing at all.

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